A note to be found

[Nymphadora Tonks]

Inside one of the covers on Theodore Remus Lupin's scrapbook, there is a note from his mother she wrote before leaving to help in the Battle for Hogwarts. It reads:

Dear Teddy Bear,

I'm sorry to leave you in the middle of the night but I couldn't sit back and wait while your father fought for us. I'm so sorry darling. You were sleeping when I wrote this, but you have to know that your father and I love you very much. We're doing this so you don have to grow up in fear of anything happening to our family.

Before I forget, I wanted to tell you a little bit about your aunt Keisha. She was a great woman who got into some trouble after we left Hogwarts. I don't know what to really tell you about her. She always wanted to be like me, and I wanted to be like her. We were twins. So of course there was sibling rivalry. But she died young because she couldn't escape the Death Eaters. Mum and I never spoke of her after that.

Anyway, Gran and Uncle Harry will take care of you till we come back dear. Mummy and daddy love you so much. Please remember that. If I don't get to be there when you take your first steps, say your first word, put you on the bus for your first day of primary school, see you off on the Hogwarts Express, see you get your first girlfriend or anything else. I'll always be there for you. If by chance both your father and I don't come back. We will always love you. Your our first born, a teddy bear, and mummy's little boy, and of course your just like your father already. The other day while gran was reading to you, you tried to take the book from her. It was so cute, and your father and I could only laugh.

Now, I have to go. But when your older, and you get this, I hope your like your father but with my sense of humour.

I love you,
Mum

[Theodore "Teddy" Lupin]

Teddy finds the letter, and tear stains are made across the page, smudging some of the words. It is found after his letter that was never delivered.

Mum,

I love you so much. I wish you would come back. If you only knew how sad I would be, would you have still left? I've had years to think about you and Dad, about how to feel about you two leaving me. Nearly 18 years to think about it, and yet, I'm still confused. I don't know what to think.

You say that it is for the future of the world, but the future without you has been terrible for me. Leaving me alone, leaving me to be raised by family that isn't you. I love you so very much. And you loved me. I would rather live in fear of death everyday with you than live without you. It's terrible to think, but can I not want my parents back so badly?

I did grow up to be like the two of you. I can't remember you at all, not even one slight memory of being with you. I wish I could remember your faces without my photo album. I wish I could remember your greatness rather than hear about it. Uncle Harry always talks about you when he visits, to the point I want to crawl in bed and cry because you're not there to tell me. No one sees me cry, never, because then they would think something is wrong, when the only cure to what I have is impossible to bring to me: you. They try; they see how sad I am; they try to make memories of you form in my imagination, but it never works. Uncle Harry gave me pictures of you to help, and it does, because I know your faces now, but they're fake. They aren't actual memories of you. Just faces I have seen second hand.

Why am I even writing this as if you will get it? You won't be able to read his letter. You're alive now, just not my mum yet, so in heaven you can't read it either. I guess it was just so I felt like I responded to you. I do love you, but I still have questions, and living without you has been so hard, life with you seems like it would be the best thing I could ever ask for.

Oh, and I know about your sister. If there's one thing I wan to do while stuck here, it's to save her for you. I know how loss feels, and I don't want you to lose your sister. Uncle Harry mentions her in my book about you. You obviously still loved her, but Gran won't tell me about her, no matter how many times I've asked. And she's killed Uncle Harry many times, at least she's intended to many times for informing me without her knowledge.

Teddy